Not sure.

I'm in a place of uncertainty right now. It's when a goal that you've set looks so different from what you thought. Or many goals. And it feels different. Than what you thought. I'm so proud that I'm learning to see the good in everything and that I'm learning to trust even those times when I give up. I trust the giving up. I think I'm a happier person. My house is not as clean. My clothes, not as pressed. My event calendar, full, but not as scattered. If I can just get past this little hump. I know there is a certainty on the other side. If I'm honest, I have always been a nonbeliever in absolute certainty. So why I'm looking for it right now is, actually, beyond me! 

A Great Leap of Faith

These next few weeks will be a leap of faith for me. I have many activities scheduled. It's that time in my life where people make comments about how busy I am. This is hard for me to hear because I don't feel like I'm much busier than the average person. What I like about my choices are that everything I start has a clear ending (usually less than a year); whether that is a craft project or volunteering for a project in the community such as the town Musical here or the Silent Auction at my Austin church. There are end dates. I don't mean to be down on people who say this to me. But it seems like they have their hands full too either with their demanding jobs, family, travel - even time spent on the internet. I wish that people could be sensitive to others choices of how they spend their time. I don't like to verbally call attention to other people and how they choose to spend their time. I do judge others choices. That is part of being human and something I am working on training myself out of. But, at least, I don't comment for now. Spend your time the way you want to. Deal with the consequences of your choices. Above all else, have fun.

To Be Humbled

Believe it or not, I love those times in life when you are humbled. Like when you thought you'd be good at something and you find that you are not good. Oh, no. No. No. You are not so good at that thing. I'm learning to have peace with the word No. I'm learning to have peace with the phrase I Don't Know. At church a couple of weeks ago, our pastor shared with us several thoughts. He asked us the question, What about when Love says No? It's a tough question, but we have to become friends with that concept if we are to have peace in our lives. He also said, Ambiguity is a gift. Some times we don't get to know. And we can enjoy those times. Breathe and enjoy not knowing.

Fairy Skirt No Sew Pattern

http://lazymamadesigns.blogspot.com/2007/12/free-pattern-almost-no-sew-fairy-skirt.html

Stock Pot serving and keeping that feeling

I don't know how I can move so quickly through that feeling from ecstasy back to junk that doesn't serve me.  I did make it over to the Stock Pot food line yesterday and I'll post my experience. But, really now - shame on me! In less than 3 hours, I was already stressed at work again. My coworkers leading me to breathe and calm down. I'm a yoga teacher and one who, apparently, needs some help to Zen out! 

Here's some stuff that does serve me. So I went to the Stock Pot and had that experience, you know the one, where everything fits in place like a puzzle. Your expectations are exceeded and it's a perfect situation. Of course, there is no exactly perfect situation. I can attest to that at age 35! There are always quirks. But this is the best kind of experience. Perfect anyway. The women who run the Stock Pot are these amazing angels from the Catholic Church serving out of the Presbyterian Church. So I love that, already, because I love people of many religions blending and helping each other. The lady I served tea with was Methodist. She said, "I always say I'm Catholic on the 1st and 4th Thursdays of the month!" which is when she serves. We have the angels and the people who need us. The people who need us are mostly polite and respectful - please and thank you. The elderly will break your heart. The working men make you sigh. We served 75 people yesterday. The kitchen ladies are short help next Thursday. As with any endeavor, I don't know how much time I have to help them. But this schedule seems okay. A long lunch some times on Thursdays. The library doesn't open until noon. I would miss an hour, at worst, of work which I can make up. My goal is once a month. As you can see, I feel sucked into next Thursday. I can't help it. But after that, I will need to slow down. The theatrical play that I am in and school starting may dominate my world again for a while. Stay tuned. I'll do my best to keep you posted. 

Soup Kitchen/My workout plan

Today, I will give my lunch hour to try out helping at one of the Soup Kitchens in town. I have been sensitive lately to learning more about conditions of poverty. I feel so privileged when I see what some people live with. They give me something each time I experience their outlook on life. So, it's time for me to see if they will continue to honor me by letting me give back. 

Another of my goals is to further build up my workout schedule. It helps me to share what I'm currently doing. Things are a little crazy right now with selling my Austin house. But in general, I use Monday and Tuesday to work out. This could be walking 2-3 miles on my road here at the house with my dogs. It could be water aerobics at the YMCA. It could be yoga at the YMCA. On Fridays, I teach two yoga classes and get as best a workout as I can while teaching. It's a good stretch. I also just found Leslie's Walk Slim DVD's and as soon as we sign away our house, I'm buying it. Especially for summer, when it's too hot to be outside walking and my schedule finds me eager to work out when it's not a convenient time weather-wise, like weekend afternoons or evenings.