Not sure.

I'm in a place of uncertainty right now. It's when a goal that you've set looks so different from what you thought. Or many goals. And it feels different. Than what you thought. I'm so proud that I'm learning to see the good in everything and that I'm learning to trust even those times when I give up. I trust the giving up. I think I'm a happier person. My house is not as clean. My clothes, not as pressed. My event calendar, full, but not as scattered. If I can just get past this little hump. I know there is a certainty on the other side. If I'm honest, I have always been a nonbeliever in absolute certainty. So why I'm looking for it right now is, actually, beyond me! 

A Great Leap of Faith

These next few weeks will be a leap of faith for me. I have many activities scheduled. It's that time in my life where people make comments about how busy I am. This is hard for me to hear because I don't feel like I'm much busier than the average person. What I like about my choices are that everything I start has a clear ending (usually less than a year); whether that is a craft project or volunteering for a project in the community such as the town Musical here or the Silent Auction at my Austin church. There are end dates. I don't mean to be down on people who say this to me. But it seems like they have their hands full too either with their demanding jobs, family, travel - even time spent on the internet. I wish that people could be sensitive to others choices of how they spend their time. I don't like to verbally call attention to other people and how they choose to spend their time. I do judge others choices. That is part of being human and something I am working on training myself out of. But, at least, I don't comment for now. Spend your time the way you want to. Deal with the consequences of your choices. Above all else, have fun.

To Be Humbled

Believe it or not, I love those times in life when you are humbled. Like when you thought you'd be good at something and you find that you are not good. Oh, no. No. No. You are not so good at that thing. I'm learning to have peace with the word No. I'm learning to have peace with the phrase I Don't Know. At church a couple of weeks ago, our pastor shared with us several thoughts. He asked us the question, What about when Love says No? It's a tough question, but we have to become friends with that concept if we are to have peace in our lives. He also said, Ambiguity is a gift. Some times we don't get to know. And we can enjoy those times. Breathe and enjoy not knowing.